Okay I did it. An excel program that does quadratic regression by using gaussian elimination to solve for the constants and then using quadratic extrapolation to get the hot spot stress. Very customized and neat. Heh.

The lab is closed till 8 Dec, which means i got an unexpected one week break. Heh. I am running out of time to do my FYP, i figured. And i figured that i could save some time by writing a program that does quadratic extrapolation. Hmm, but how do i do that?

Things will never be the same again. Awakened and deeply traumatized i am, with that process seemingly irreversible. I don't suppose i could think like before, even if i want to. Once the mind learns to do something, it is incredibly hard to 'unlearn' it, if even possible. Cycling is a good example.

Fuck, my lab is closed. I came happily to school at 7.30 only to find all the computers gone.

After my exams on Friday, i would have completed 7 sems at NUS. And i was thinking just now what i have learnt so far, which i will enumerate:
1) Probably all the engineering stuff i have learnt will not be put to use.
2) However, the engineering approach to analysing and tackling problems is an extremely powerful tool which can be employed everywhere. By this, i am talking about the Aristotlean approach to division, which bears some similarities. You will become more logical, and i don't mean this in the real hardcore sense of the logics learnt in philosophy.
3) That i must be prepared for lifelong learning.
4) That you must draw the line between a good decision and a bad outcome.

That is probably quite impressive but the more i think about it, the more i feel you don't need 7 sems to learn them.

Universities should have two versions of the same degree: one for people going to practise in that field and another for people not. The latter should be shorter of course.

So, two of my cousins flopped at the PSLE. No, they didn't. They got 230+, decent enough to get into seconday school. Yet they cried, both of them, believe it or not. Expectations were high and they had failed miserably. The RI and RGS dream was over: that bubble had burst violently. Yet, that wasn't really what they wanted, but merely what others wanted from them. Someone should really tell them what is really going on, that they shouldn't be judged on some meaningless number or the name of the school they come from. They think that for children to cry is perfectly normal and that got me seriously worried because in years to come, the conflict between their superego and ego might affect their development as teenagers. Yet, these people do not at all seem worried, or so it seemed, or maybe they don't know.

I am not a parent, nor am i going to be one very soon. It seems an enormous duty, to me, to be in charge of someone's life, to teach them right from wrong, to impart to them their philosophy to life, because i am not even confident i know them well myself. You don't just had kids just to fill up your life. That is such a selfish thought. There is a duty to teach them properly and adequately, and these people had failed in that regard. I am having a hard enough time trying to be a 'good' human being, trying to be more responsible to myself and others.

After reading this, people will probably think i am very pessimistic. But i am not, really!

My right biceps ache, instead of my wrist, and so i figured out that i am using the wrong muscles for badminton.

And today, finally, i woke up at 6am instead of the usual 4pm.

Okay, ty lin is dead.

Studies have shown that a person has more periods of unhappiness in his life than happiness. So if you are feeling miserable, that is really normal. We cannot seek happiness because happiness must ensue. In other words, we must have a reason or reasons to be happy.

Some truths just have to be learnt the hard way, but that isn't necessarily inferior. I think i am finally okay.

Okay, insomia strikes again and so i will write something meaningful now.

First, forget what i wrote about death because i didn't mean exactly what i wrote. Death is an important phase of life and mourning death only makes us more human. Secondly, a consistent philosophy towards life is not an easy task to achieve. Even Locke would readily admit his inconsistency. Anyway, i am still inching forward.
Thirdly, because i am an agnostic, life is purposeless but it can and should be meaningful. Even suffering brings about a type of value, an attitudinal value, i.e. the attitude towards life.

Next, on right and wrong, i think that it is innate, a matter of feeling, but that can be conditioned. The majority rules in the world today. We live in a gregarious society, whether we like it or not. And obviously, if you want to get your opinions across, make people do it your way, it is always easier if you wield power, have a gun, though i am convinced that that is wrong most of the time.